Hey you. Internet lurker. It’s me again.
Yeah, you. The one reading this blog post for whatever reason it is. I appreciate you because you’ve managed to keep up this far without clicking off. So let me admit to the fact that it’s been a long time since we spoke. But here I am. I think it’s been about a year now right? Last time I reached out to you guys it was the a couple of rants. I kid you not the anxiety of life is still crawling over me. The game of life hasn’t really stopped just yet. This is not me reaching out for help. I’m using this space to think aloud. Anxiety is horrible but it’s the coping mechanisms that help us get through the rough- just stick together and we can beat anything. Gosh look at me- I sound like a little ‘b****’. But I don’t care because when I type up this blog it feels like weight is being lifted off me. Almost like undressing, one piece of clothing at a time…
So, although this might be just a completely random post, there’s some plot to it. I don’t promise every post to have some point to it though so don’t check in here always expecting the specifics but I’ll do my utter best to keep you guys entertained.
Where am I at in life? Well I’m 20 years of age now. Great I have finally reached the odd age of life where responsibilities start to crumble down on me. Don’t get me wrong though, I understand that this is how life works. I can’t be babied everywhere i go. I need to earn to live. I have almost finished university now. May 25th 2017 marks the last day for me. It’s my last exam date. I can’t come to terms with how people say you’ll miss university and the education part of life though. In fact most of my anxiety streams from the constant worry of being successful in this part of life. It will either make or break you. Well that’s just how i’ts come across to me anyway. When I finish my last exam I’ll graduate and yes I will feel proud and well achieved. So long as I don’t have to resit an exam. But heck if that happens, I’ll be disappointed after putting in almost 6 hours a day of revision. After graduating where am I in the world? If there’s anyone out there in the same spot or even heading there, it’s going to hit you like a storm if you haven’t got your game plan sorted. I’m slowly starting to feel like a lost puppy.
Do I search for a job? Do I research and try to develop myself further? I’m heading to a future where I aspire to either become an Accountant or a Designer. Yes, I know two different dimensions. I too am surprised that I managed to fit those words into the same sentence. For those wondering, the Accountancy career would stem from my degree in the field. On the other hand, Designing would stem from my major interest in that field which I’ve tried to self teach myself over the years when I’ve had time. It’s mainly consisted of graphic communication types of work. Back to the main concern, where do I start? After all the end of university marks a new beginning in my life. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on where I’m at.
We should probably talk more though. I don’t know why we ever stopped. This is peaceful. About 30 mins of my time has faded and I’m feeling more at one with myself at the moment. I guess once I lose connection of spilling myself on the blogs, I lose all the confidence to carry on. Even though nobody would care for what I post, I feel blogging will help me keep track of myself. I don’t want to get lost in this.
Don’t stop rolling, my little dices.